In an era where societal norms are constantly evolving, the decision to remain child-free is gaining traction among individuals and couples. Elizabeth DeBord, a 40-year-old resident of Adel, Iowa, shares her insights on why she and her husband have chosen not to have children. Her journey involves navigating career aspirations, mental health challenges, and fostering experiences that ultimately led them to prioritize their marriage and personal well-being over parenthood. In this article, we explore the multifaceted reasons behind their choice, including financial considerations, generational perspectives, and the changing dynamics of family life.
Elizabeth’s story begins with her educational pursuits and professional ambitions. After completing seven years of schooling to earn both a bachelor’s degree and an MBA, she embarked on a challenging career path that tested her mental health. Balancing work stress with the demands of raising a child seemed insurmountable. Additionally, their attempt at fostering teenagers highlighted systemic issues within support structures, further reinforcing their decision to step back from parenting responsibilities.
The couple also weighed the long-term implications of having children later in life. With concerns about increased health risks associated with pregnancies after the age of 40, as well as the desire to retire comfortably before reaching their sixties, they concluded that expanding their family was not aligned with their future plans. Moreover, their negative experiences with school systems during their fostering period added another layer of hesitation. Schools today, according to Elizabeth, impose rigid rules that hinder natural childhood development, making it less appealing for them to engage in formal education settings.
Another significant factor influencing their choice is the observation of friends who became parents. Many of these relationships ended in divorce, underscoring the potential strain parenthood can place on marriages. For Elizabeth and her husband, maintaining harmony in their 16-year union takes precedence over introducing complexities brought by children. They derive immense joy from their current lifestyle, cherishing moments spent together without external pressures.
Social acceptance of their decision remains elusive, particularly in the Midwest where traditional values persist. Critics often attribute their financial stability to the absence of children, ignoring the hard work and sacrifices involved in achieving economic security. Despite such judgments, Elizabeth and her husband stand firm in their conviction, emphasizing the importance of enjoying youth and exploring diverse opportunities before committing to parenthood.
As younger generations reconsider traditional timelines for major life events, Elizabeth advocates for proactive measures like egg freezing to preserve fertility options while pursuing personal and professional goals. She encourages young women to take vacations, travel abroad, and deepen connections with partners before deciding whether parenthood aligns with their aspirations. Ultimately, her perspective underscores the value of intentional living and prioritizing one's own happiness and fulfillment.
Beyond societal expectations, Elizabeth and her husband exemplify how thoughtful deliberation can lead to fulfilling lives free from conventional obligations. By focusing on what truly matters to them—be it career growth, marital bliss, or personal enrichment—they demonstrate that happiness does not necessarily hinge upon procreation. Their journey serves as a reminder that every individual has the right to craft a unique path suited to their circumstances and desires.