In this heartfelt essay, Mirella Stoyanova shares her personal journey of reclaiming her identity through the correct pronunciation of her name. Adopted from Bulgaria at age five by an American family, she has spent nearly two decades gently correcting her loved ones on how to say her name properly. This article delves into the broader implications of names as symbols of cultural heritage and personal identity, reflecting on the challenges faced when one's origins are misunderstood or overlooked. Through her experiences, Stoyanova highlights the importance of respecting individuality and the subtle ways in which we can honor each other’s backgrounds.
Mirella Stoyanova was adopted from Bulgaria at the tender age of five. Her new American family, while loving and supportive, introduced a significant change to her life by altering the pronunciation of her name. What began as a seemingly minor adjustment soon became a recurring theme throughout her childhood and adulthood. Despite numerous attempts to guide her family towards the correct pronunciation, the mispronunciation persisted, often turning into a source of light-hearted jokes within the household. Yet, for Stoyanova, this was more than just a matter of phonetics; it was about reclaiming an essential part of her identity.
The turning point came during a visit to her Bulgarian godmother in Chicago, where she rediscovered her connection to her roots. This experience sparked a deeper appreciation for her original name and its significance. Throughout high school and college, Stoyanova made concerted efforts to reintroduce her authentic name to those around her. However, despite these attempts, the old habits remained deeply ingrained. Family members continued to pronounce her name incorrectly, sometimes even dismissing her requests as mere phases that would pass with time.
As a therapist, Stoyanova now understands the profound impact of identity on personal well-being. She emphasizes the role of names in shaping our sense of self and forming healthy boundaries. Growing up in a predominantly white community, she navigated the complexities of fitting in while preserving her unique identity. Over time, she realized the importance of embracing all aspects of who she is, including her name. After marriage, she legally changed her name to incorporate her pre-adoption surname, Stoyanova, symbolizing her commitment to honoring her heritage.
Stoyanova reflects on the broader implications of this experience, particularly regarding intercultural understanding. She acknowledges the good intentions of her family but underscores the need for greater awareness and sensitivity. For her, the way people treat and respect names can serve as a powerful reflection of their willingness to understand and embrace diversity. As she continues to model this behavior for her nieces, nephews, and young son, she holds out hope that future generations will learn to appreciate and honor the identities of others. Ultimately, her story serves as a poignant reminder of the power and significance of a name in defining who we are.